Creating Petri Dishes For Connection
Subtle changes in conditions can wake up latent magical connections with strangers.
I was reminded of this at a super challenging hot room mat workout class. It was SOOO intense.
At the end, the teacher asked everyone to give their neighbors a congratulations for finishing the class.
Afterwards I took the risk to talk to the woman in front of me whom I found super attractive. I told her I had never seen anyone amuse themselves so much during a class because she kept smiling at herself in amazement during the whole class. She proceeded to explain that she just had a hip replacement and this was her first time back in class and that she was so amazed that she could do it.
Then the guy next to me who looks like he should be on the cover of Men’s Health strikes up a convo with me to say he thought he was literally going to die a few times during class, and that I had inspired him by stopping multiple times to take care of myself. He said it reminded him that he could do the same and paradoxically made him work harder. Then we talked more in the locker room and discovered he is interested in what I’m working on professionally so I probably picked up a new client.
Then when he left I thought I was alone in the locker room and started to sing a song. A few mins later a guy comes out of the bathroom to say that I should keep singing because it makes the world smile.
What’s remarkable about these interactions is that they are soooo rare in fitness/yoga classes. Not to mention they were vulnerable and touching things people were sharing. I can count on one hand the number of satisfying conversations I’ve had after a fitness class in my whole life — much less with men in a locker room.
What was it that made today different?
1. The class was super hard and people were drenched. When people go through something super challenging together they are more likely to bond. If you are interested in learning more about this phenomenon read Tribe by Sebastian Unger.
2. The instructor encouraged people to interact with each other. She gave everyone permission to bond over #1. It was just one sentence.
3. I was in a good, loose, and confident mood probably because I had a great week with colleagues and friends at business conference and had my first great night sleep last night.
I’m fascinated by the subtle things that wake me and others up to our connection to ourselves and each other.
